The term “how to be a good mother” has various steps and plans to achieve it. Whatever the plan is, the most important thing is to love your children and to make sure they feel loved. To be a good mom, you need to figure out what you consider to be the most important—discipline? quality time? providing your kids with opportunities? and a host of others. Don’t forget, though, that to invest in your children, you’ll also need to invest in yourself.
Set the rules: As a parent, you need to decide how you want to run your household and clearly communicate these expectations to your kids. Communicate rules and instructions through a family meeting and spell out the consequences of breaking the rules. Then, post a cheat sheet of the rules in a common area as a reminder. don’t be too strict with your rules. If your children are teenagers, you might have an open discussion with them to decide on fair rules and consequences together.
Discipline: The bible clearly says “spare the rod and spoil the child”. You need to discipline your children when they violate the rules. Use fair and appropriate consequences that you will carry out every time. Disciplining your children for rule-breaking doesn’t necessarily translate to being mean. Use compassion and logic. Criticize the behavior rather than the child.
Be affectionate often: Dish out plenty of love in the form of hugs, kisses, and words of affirmation. Showing affection to your children creates a conducive environment and reminds them that they are loved unconditionally. It is also linked to higher self-esteem, better academic performance, fewer behavioral problems, and an overall stronger relationship between you and your child.
Act approachable: A good relationship with your child requires healthy communication with your children making them confident to share their life with you. Make a point of having regular conversations with each of your children, no matter how trivial the subject. Then, let them know that your door is always open for a chat. Give them full attention and make occasional eye contact.
Remind them constantly of your love: Form a habit to always remind your child that you love them. Even if you are disciplining them or disagreeing with them, make sure they know it comes from a place of love. Avoid using harsh words always, speak in soft tones, and be gentle with your child, even when you are enforcing a consequence.
Spend time with your children: Quality time is important for building good relationships with each of your kids, but always hanging out as a family doesn’t allow for one-on-one attention. Dedicating a little time to one child at a time enables you to talk about the unique challenges they are facing or learn about their special talents and interests. If you’re dealing with a baby or toddler, one-on-one time might include getting down on the floor and playing with them. Make a special habit or activity for the child that is your “special thing.” Cook together, take a walk, or even do crafts. This can reinforce your bond.
Show your support. A mom’s support is one of the most important things in a child’s life. Help nurture their interests and outlooks, even if it’s not what you would have chosen for them. Support their dreams and aspirations and give them room to explore. Although these interests may come and, they will always remember how you supported them and gave them the freedom to explore different things without judgment. If your child behaves well or does something that makes you proud, let them know. This will reinforce positive behaviors in your child.
Avoid Comparing your children: Comparing your children with their siblings, friends or neighbors often builds negative vibes, aggression, poor academic performance and low self-esteem. Love all your children for who they are. Try to promote strong sibling relationships by not comparing one kid to another. Good mothers avoid showing favoritism, as doing so may turn your kids against one another.
Collaborate with your partner or co-parent on the plan. Since consistency is such a big thing in being a good mother, you’ll also want to make sure your partner or co-parent is on the same page with your plan. Develop the rules and consequences together, and be sure that both of you follow through on them. Most times, if one parent doesn’t agree on the disciplinary plan, they may not actually carry it out. Being clear about where each of you stands can help ensure that the right message gets to the kids.
Be a Role model: Do your best to practice what you preach. Ensuring that you reflect a consistent image to your kids is an important part of being a good mom. Children repeat behaviors that their parents do, so avoid setting rules and standards for your kids you don’t follow yourself. This also includes modeling things like being a hard worker, eating healthy foods, and not using drugs or alcohol. Model healthy relationships with your spouse, co-parent, family members, friends, or regular people in the community. Show your kids how to treat people appropriately. Let them know what it means to be a good friend and/or partner, such as teaching them to actively listen, compromise, and share with others.
Take responsibility for your mistakes: Admit when you’re wrong and apologize. Let your children understand that you are not perfect and be willing to acknowledge your shortcomings. Admitting your own wrongdoing shows your kids that there’s nothing to be ashamed of about mistakes—as long as they fess up and try to make amends.
Promote good health and well-being. When you support your overall health, you ensure that you lose less time coping with illness, have a better mood, and live longer for your kids’ sake. Make health a major focus in your household by eating well, exercising, and getting plenty of rest. Encourage your kids to do the same.
Split responsibilities with your partner. Good moms don’t try to do it all on their own. If you’re parenting with a spouse or partner, ask them to share the load with you. If you’re overwhelmed, request that they take on more duties, so you can rest. You might also give them specific tasks to do so that you’re not bogged down.