It’s usually sad and frustrating when you discover that your spouse is cheating. It sends a lot of mixed feelings that may make you not want to go on. The decision you decide to take may either get things worse or better the situation for both parties. But the big question is, What do you do next?
How To Deal With A Cheating Spouse
1. Find out the reason for your Spouse’s cheating.
People cheat for several reasons. Sometimes it’s not always about sex. Your partner could be seeking an emotional connection or trying to deal with a loss or crisis. This is not an excuse, however, it is of great importance that you find out why they cheated before you move forward.
Try talking to your partner letting him know that you are aware of his/her infidelity and plead with them to be sincere with you on their reason. Sometimes, they may not know how and why it happened. Be sure that you may get answers like “I don’t know”. In that case, some common reasons may include:
- A desire for attention.
- Attraction to a different person.
- Poor Communication
- Family Background (Cheating parents).
- Mental Stress or Disorders.
2. Decide if you want to re-establish trust
After considering the reason for your partner’s infidelity, and you still want to move forward then ask yourself? Can I still trust my partner? Infidelity is a serious breach of trust it is something that may clearly show that a person is unworthy or capable of a healthy relationship. But if they are truly sorry and can make amends, forgiveness can lead to an even better relationship. Also, consider some vital signs like:
- Was your spouse sincere about his infidelity?
- Has this become a continuous occurrence that he usually buys his way out with a dramatic display of forgiveness?
- Is your spouse willing to take drastic measures to mend your relationship and make sacrifices to keep it going?
On the other hand, if you simply cannot trust that person again, it is better to let go as the relationship is officially dead.
Remember, you do not need to be quick when making a decision, take a deep breath and relax, after all, it’s your life.
3. Your Spouse Should Cut off All Communications with Third Party
The third-party in question may a colleague or boss, to tackle this, your partner may need to quit his job or request a transfer if possible. Sometimes, it could be friends, a club or whatever draws his attention to the rendezvous. But whatever be the case, your partner’s willingness to desist from the distraction is of utmost importance. However, if the third party refuses to leave your partner, then you both need to take a desperate measure, like getting a restraining order.
4. Set Boundaries For Your Relationship To Avoid Re-occurrence
Certain things when overlooked can pose a serious threat to your relationship and may even sometimes lead to infidelity. For instance, your partner may discuss your relationship with his friend or colleague who may begin to plant some unpleasant thoughts in the mind of your partner. At this point, you may want to discuss with your partner on the matter to avoid a repetition in the future. Also, talk with your partner about things you are not comfortable with like:
- Closeness with the opposite sex.
- Lying about whereabouts.
5. Forgive On Your Own Terms
Allow yourself to heal and deal with the situation. Infidelity is deep and painful would so do not allow yourself to be coaxed into making a hasty decision to avoid regrets. Whatever you decide after you have forgiven your spouse, be sure to be happy.